# 3 Mad Zone

I like writing. And I am fairly good at it. At least that’s what all the people on whom I force my creations upon say. “Start a blog na” is something I always hear from them. “Oh…I’m not so good” I reply with fake modesty. Its not that I never gave it a thought. I always did. But then what would I write about? Someone once told me that the best way to start is by reviewing (read criticizing) a movie. So I did that. I started writing about Shootout at Wadala. After about 3 pages I realized that I really hated John Abraham. I mean I physically despised him. That beefed up, smirking like an epileptic water buffalo…There I go again. See what I mean?

I could always write about movies later. I mean I would get an opportunity every Friday. So what else? Politics? I would. But I fear that I might offend some political leader and his henchmen will ransack my home and thrash me and rub black paint on my face and make me ride a donkey and hang a garland of shoes around my neck (yeah my posts will be that popular, thank you!). I mean I can’t afford that kind of publicity. I am getting married in a couple of months. With a girl who has a crush on John Abraham. See what I am dealing with? I could use the shoes though. But I will maintain that I came up with “Whats the opposite of PROgress? CONgress”. Witty, isn’t it? I seriously came up with that. But why would you believe me? Hum Apke Hai Kaun?

Then there is Sports. But the only sport I really follow is Cricket, and occasionally Maria Sharapova’s ass. Er…Tennis I mean. But I lost all interest after Anna Kournikova retired. I mean she was serious talent. So what if she never won any tournament in her career and dated Enrique Iglesias (ughh…) for like eternity. Speaking of ‘ughh’…, did anyone see the pictures of the Williams’ sisters draped in saree?

I also followed Badminton for some time. Jwala Gutta more precisely. Then I heard that she was dating Azharuddin; someone whom I had never forgiven for marrying Sangeeta Bijlani. And I lost faith in humanity.

So we come back to Cricket. So I am like a self proclaimed Cricket pundit. The fact that I can’t distinguish between Extra Cover and Deep Mid Wicket should be conveniently overlooked. And I think Sachin Tendulkar is God and that he should never retire. So when he quit from One Day Cricket I seriously hoped that we lose every match. So that I could rant on social media about how much we need Sachin and his experience. But the bastards started winning more frequently than ever. I firmly believe that all those test matches we lost in England and Australia, we lost on purpose, on Dhoni’s orders, to oust Sachin. To make him look bad. Wicked people.

Yeah so I may be a bit iffy on all the topics mentioned above. But I would address this not as an issue but as a talent. I’d call myself ‘Jack of all trades, master of pun’. Good huh? What did I tell you? So I decided to start a blog anyway. And what better day to start than on a Friday. I took an off from work today. I have food poisoning. I wonder why. Because all I had yesterday was an entire pack of Khakhra (am from Gujju land), followed by Maggi at a roadside stall, followed by a bowl of boiled corn with dollops of butter on it, followed by Cold Coco, followed by….yeah that’s about it. What was I thinking?

I decided to name the blog ‘# 3 Mad Zone’. # 3 stands for my surname ‘Namboothiri’. Smart, huh? Welcome to my world. Here, you will find solutions to all life’s problems. Not necessarily the solutions you are looking for. Mostly smart ass, sarcastic kind of stuff. And be warned. I can only dish it out.

Harbhajan Singh is launching his album. Yeah he is going to sing. What was he thinking? Being the SP of Punjab Police does seem to have a lot of perks. Ironically, his first song is on ‘Ma’. He should be really careful though. Wasn’t it the word that got him in trouble against Symonds? ‘Maa Ki…’ ‘Monkey…’ remember? And the fact that he dated Geeta Basra! What was she thinking? I ain’t going to Punjab any time soon.

Have a great weekend!!