Every College Ever: Part 1

It's been 12 years since college. But it seems like yesterday. Now when I pass by any college campus and look at the kids there, I feel...nostalgic yes, but more than that I feel really old.

Every college that I have ever come across has some very common scenes and people. To start with everyone feels that their college life was the best. But certain characters and situations remain permanent.

The Guitarist: Every college campus has this one musician guy. And mostly his weapon of choice would be the guitar. There was this musician guy in my college. Every day for three years, he would roam around the campus with a guitar hanging on his shoulder. Everyday. And he fit the image of the quintessential college musician to the T. So the guitarist is casually dressed, a sexy leather or denim jacket to give him that bohemian look. I mean when have you ever seen a guy wearing formals and also play the guitar? They are two separate species altogether. The one wearing the formals is what scientists term as talentless! Who wears formals in college anyway? The musician has long hair, obviously. And did I mention that he is generally a heartthrob? Girls are ready to tear his clothes (and theirs too) when they hear him play. Guys obviously hate him. But you can’t beat up a guy just cause he plays the guitar. Or can you?

Rebels without a cause: Then there is a group of students that is perpetually outside the college. They are the bad guys. Wronged by the system. Always eager for a fight, these guys get offended at the drop of a hat. My college too had such a group. It was the time when Tere Naam was released. And suddenly everyone in the group was a self proclaimed Radhe, a goon with the heart of gold. Most of them were assholes of the highest order though. Then there was this guy who was nicknamed Sathiya/Vivek Oberoi. Reason? He had hair like Vivek Oberoi. But the similarity ended there. Not for him though. He was so used to people calling him Vivek Oberoi that eventually he believed that he was Oberoi's first cousin. He even ended up buying that Avenger type bike which Oberoi drives in Dum. And it was funny cause he was a little over 5 feet tall. And looked like a mouse.

The college bitches: This tag is reserved for two of the hottest girls in the college. And they are usually friends with each other. More than the sharing of interests, the real reason for them being together is their insecurity. Because they believe that the other person is the only real threat to her popularity; so they end up befriending each other. That’s like symbiosis at a human level. What also is true is the fact that they will become sworn enemies as the college nears its term.

The born couples: In college, some friendships are forged from the word go. And when its between a boy and a girl, tongues do tend to wag (coz duh ,ek ladka aur ladki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte right?). They will always be together; always laughing away seemingly awkward questions about their relation with elan. Of course who would believe them? Seeing them together out of college would be like sighting a tiger. You would be really lucky to see one, but everyone manages to catch a glimpse nevertheless. This ‘çouple’ would also be accompanied by a third friend, usually a girl. She is part of the group because she is a stabiliser. The couple would be like, ‘we are a group of good friends’. The girl would be like ‘no i am more like the pickle in a buffet. Very much needed, but no one would miss me either’. And yes, the pair will not tolerate deviating interests of each other. There will come a time when the couple won’t be talking to each other because of his or her’s alleged closeness with another person of the opposite sex.

The chick magnet: This is self explanatory. He is the college stud. Every guy hates him. Every girl wants to cut her veins for him. He is usually friends with the guitarist, so their synergy is so great that by the third year there isn’t a lot of hope left for lesser mortals to have a girlfriend. And as usual you can’t beat both of them up cause the stud is well built. Or can you? Few years ago I bumped into the college stud from my batch. He had undergone a drastic change. He was fat, and balding. It was difficult to imagine him that way. I felt a little sad, and a lot happier.

Youth Festival: Without doubt the most happening event of the year. This event sees aggressive participation from students because it is one time in the entire year when you can officially bunk lectures. When questioned on his or her absence, the student in question will reply in the most sincere yet proud manner, “sir for youth festival...”, almost as if he or she had fought in kargil.

The Annual Day/Talent Evening: The only fun thing the college authorities allow every year. This day is anxiously awaited because it is like an unofficial end to the academic year. So the evening begins with a female student dressed in saree hosting the show. She will begin by thanking the ‘honourable principal sir’, and respected professors who are sitting in the front row, for being the guiding light. She will then recite a poem which is usually written by the college poet who for most part of college life remains in obscurity. Then she invites the ‘honourable principal sir’ on stage, who will then take 20 minutes out of your life with the new photocopy of last year’s speech. And of course then there is the mandatory ‘lighting of the lamp’ by some big shot of the university, mostly the Vice Chancellor. And he then goes on to prove how the lamp and its light symbolises all the racist things in the world.

And then the evening begins. And as all good things begin with a prayer, the annual day too begins on a holy note. Three girls sharing one mike will sing a popular bhajan. If the college is upscale, then you will also have two guys with the girls; one playing the harmonium, and the other playing tabla. The audience by then realises that one hour of the allotted two and a half hours is already over.

Once the aesthetics are over, the actual fun begins. The female anchor is joined by a guy, in a blazer. He is the fun element. He takes over from the female and ensures that the audience is still alive. So he will repeat the question ‘are you guys ready for some fun?’, because the first time no one has heard it. And like obedient children, the audience too will respond with a loud ‘ýes’. And then the usual routine begins. Skits, dance, mimicry, some more dance, singing. Before you know it, the evening ends. And a sad realisation engulfs you. The year is about to end.   

...to be contd

Of Snakes And The Ailing TV!

If there is one thing that stands in the way of Darwin’s theory of evolution, then it has to be without doubt the Indian TV industry. Why it continues to churn out crap day in and day out is something my mind cannot comprehend. Just don’t watch them, some would argue. But that’s not the point. Its like saying ‘i don’t indulge in corruption, so I might as well choose to ignore it’.

I am reasonably asocial. Which means that if I have a computer and decent internet speed my life is golden. On a lazy weekend all I do is lie on my bed with the laptop in front of me which churns out episodes of The Big Bang Theory, Friends, Family Guy, AIB videos, horror movies, etc one after the other. I am yet to get my hands on GOT and Breaking Bad. So I am ok watching reruns of these episodes with the greatest pleasure. It’s not that I like watching these shows and movies only on my laptop. I too enjoy the clarity and sound of my new 32 inch Samsung LED TV. But what is the point of watching these movies and shows when the channel plays moral police and beeps out dialogues and deletes scenes which they believe we may find offensive. When will these censor boards quit deciding what is good for us and what isn’t?

The last time mythologies were in vogue was way back in ’87 – ’88 era when BR Chopra’s Mahabharat and Ramanand Sagar’s Ramayan were on air. Mahabharat was actually lot cooler than the crap made thereafter. Since then, the TV channels have never let go of their fixation with mythologies. So we have serials on Shanidev, Krishna, Hanuman, not to mention the umpteen screwed up versions of Ramayana and Mahabharat, and the list is endless. How many times must one watch the same story told again and again? Is it going to be any different from the earlier attempts? Is Lord Ram not going to rescue Sita for a change? Will Hanuman get bored of being mocked around for carrying the mountain and actually just bring the goddamn herb for a change? Is Lord Krishna during his sermon to Arjun going to say, “Dude, I rode you all the way to this battlefield to watch you kick some serious Kaurava ass, not to whimper like a sissy. Now kill these irritating relatives of yours. Oh Satya and Dharma btw.” Well to be honest that was kinda the crux of Geeta Updesh. 

All these shows go on to prove just one thing. The writers lack imagination.

And what the fuck is the deal with Naagin 2? I mean was there a season 1 too? Granted Mouni Roy makes a really convincing snake. But this is 2017 for heaven’s snake. The only time I saw a movie on shape shifting snakes was in 1990. My dad had recently bought a VCR and the first cassette we rented was Nagina. But that was that. I also skipped watching the masterpiece ‘Matrix ka Jaani Dushman’ starring Armaan Kohli and half of bollywood. I regret it till date. My love for snakes was further enhanced when I accidentally bumped into this sssymphony performed by critters. I shit you not. This was an actual movie in which a whole bunch of cobras play all sorts of classical instruments. So one snake plays the flute, one plays the sitar, and if I remember well, one also played the dhol. I mean that is amazing bit of animal training. The most I could get my pet Lab to do was sit when I told him to. Thats the clip right there. Actually its the full movie. Try skipping to 1:58:41.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkmTvuDaGgk

Oh and for all those people who swear by Tarak Mehta’s Ooltah Chashma and its clean humour, you can all go and pleasure yourselves. Of course, most of the male population endures this crap fest because of that Babita chick. The treatment couldn’t get any worse. I am not even starting on the content. So I had a mishap once and happened to catch one episode of this serial. One character says a dialogue, then the camera pans to all the other characters and captures their reaction. Then there is a commercial break. Two minutes later, the show resumes where some other character responds to the first character. The fucking camera again pans to all the characters and captures their reaction, again. And then there is a break...AGAIN! To the makers I say ‘**** YOU SIRS’. That’s my tribute to the channels that beep the subtitles too.

Honestly, I don’t know much about the other shows because I couldn’t care less. But I am super confident and know how content driven the other shows would be. The bug seems to have bitten Discovery Channel too it seems. One of their shows is called Naked and Afraid. The content as described by Wikipedia is ‘Each episode chronicles the lives of two survivalists (1 woman; 1 man) who meet for the first time and are given the task of surviving a stay in the wilderness naked for 21 days.’ Seriously?

I recently saw on TV a scene from the Govinda starrer Hathkadi. And this is an actual scene from the movie. The actress Madhu comes out of her house and sees her rooster out of its cage. She runs around to catch it. Govinda who is passing by in an atrocious attire sees her and the very next moment they break out into a song. And there is a bicycle in the song too. I understand that its a movie and its ok to let imaginations fly around a bit. But at least imagine! And Flying Jatt? Who the names a movie thus?

People who do watch these shows and films have often criticised me and called me a pseudo intellectual. Look, I honestly don’t have a problem with them watching these shows and films. I have a problem with the makers of such shows taking the audience for fools and not even making a minimal effort to work on the content. Yes the audience needs to evolve no doubt. I remember a time when MTV was awesome. Now when I accidentally watch the channel while surfing, I instantly realise that something is seriously wrong with the audience, and the channels are simply exploiting this ignorance. And that Harbhajan Singh plays judge on Roadies. And to think that I almost forgave him for marrying Geeta Basra.

And yes I have written a similar post couple of years ago which probably might make you think that probably I have run out of content as well. But did u notice the subtle branding I did for Samsung LED TV? Now that’s marketing ;)

Beauty And The Beast!

She sat in the Starbucks cafe, sipping her coffee and staring out of the window. Even if Amit was blind, he would have been unable to miss the beauty that radiated from the girl. She was gorgeous. Her kohl filled eyes gazed at a distance. He wondered what she thought of. Her long eye lashes stood in graceful attention as she hardly blinked. Her spotless face oozed an angelic glow he had rarely seen. Her curly shoulder length hair added to the mesmerizing allure. Her dainty nose was followed by the cutest pair of lips he had ever seen; as if just waiting for him to kiss.

Amit could sit there all day and watch this amazing creation of the almighty. And he was glad that there was hardly anyone in the café at that hour.

 “Sir, your phone is ringing” said the waiter as he caught Amit staring intently at the girl. Amit checked his phone to see ‘Sonu’ flashing on the screen. The name momentarily broke the spell Amit was under. Sonu was his eight year old son. And although Amit was forty he had found it difficult to control the teenager in him. He always had. He answered the phone and assured Sonu that he would take him to watch Minions that evening.

Amit clucked in irritation as the waiter who was taking her order blocked his vision. But he soon left, and Amit could once again worship her through his eyes.

He continued ogling at the girl as he ordered another cup of green tea. His eyes wandered all over the female’s body. He could imagine her divine curves hidden behind her top which he wished was tighter. 

‘I need a better view’ he thought. 

He immediately got up and shifted to a couch closer to her.

‘Oh this is much better’ he thought gleefully as he ogled at her entire body. She was perfect. All he could think of was ripping her attire off to shreds and doing what he did best. Loving them. She was just the kind of women he liked. Young, luscious, virginal.

‘I should approach her. She seems easy’ he thought. It was a stupid idea. He was married and had a kid. 

‘But a little harmless flirting wouldn’t hurt’ he thought again.

The city was full of such women. His wife had been one too. But now he couldn’t stand the sight of her. She had bloated out of proportions.

He always regretted getting married. Getting married to experience the pleasures of a female’s body was ridiculous. It was like buying an orchard just because he liked a fruit. If he hadn’t been married he would have been checking into a hotel right now with her.

‘As if it’d stopped you earlier’, he thought and smiled slyly.

Lost in amorous thoughts he hadn’t realised that the girl had caught him staring at her. She was used to such attention. And she could always tell admirers from perverts. She knew that in his mind, he had already undressed her. Little did he know what she was capable of. The thought brought a smile to her face. She reached inside her handbag and pulled out something shiny. She looked around the café to see if anybody had noticed. Her pervert admirer had.

Amit’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to gauge in what he had just seen. It was a knife. Small but seemingly effective. But it wasn’t the size that made him tense. It were the very visible stains of blood that covered the blade. And all of a sudden, the woman, seemingly muttering to herself, started rocking gently on the chair. Still unable to fathom what he had just seen, Amit saw the female take the knife and slash her left palm with it. Amit jumped up in horror. But not a sound escaped his open mouth. His heart pounded mercilessly in the cage of his chest. Even scarier was the fact that the girl had not made a single sound, let alone a shriek. Even as he struggled to come to terms with it, the girl made another slashing movement and blood gently flowed out of her palm. Amit looked around nervously; the lone waiter had his back turned to the entire scene as he blended fresh coffee beans in the mixer. As Amit turned back he was horrified to see her staring at him with a psychotic grin. Her eyes burnt with a feeling he couldn’t define. Was it hatred? Or a devilish delight? He couldn’t tell. All he knew was that those eyes were boring into his very soul. Then, slowly, her lips curled into the slightest of smiles. A demonic smile. Whatever colour was left on his face vanished instantly.

‘You are going to die’ she said loud enough for him to hear. A cry of panic escaped Amit’s mouth as he fell of the chair. He quickly got up and made a mad dash towards the door.

“Sir, your bill” shouted the waiter as he ran towards the exit. But he had lost the man.

As she saw him flee in panic, she couldn’t help hide her grin. She wiped her blood stained hands with the tissue paper. It was amazing what potassium thiocynate and ferric chloride could achieve. She loved chemistry. And she would ensure that every day she would teach her students some neat chemistry tricks to make learning fun. Who would have thought that it could also prove pretty effective against oglers and eve teasers?

She checked her hands for any more stains.

“Wow, you really scared the hell out of him.” the waiter bowed down in appreciation as he approached her.

“I did, didn’t I?” she asked as she gave him a gorgeous smile.

“Yeah you did. But you also owe me two hundred bucks. He ran away without paying” said the waiter.

“Oh that’s ok. I will pay you.”

“Don’t worry. He will come back. He left his wallet on the table. You better put the knife away before you scare away any more customers” he said, winking at her.

She smiled cheerfully as she grabbed the coffee mug. The blood stained knife lay next to her handbag, covered with her blue silk scarf.

Every Man's Inferno

It's here, the crippling fear I had

A pain, a sorrow, a truth that’s sad

It claws at me; its nails run deep

It faces me like a mountain steep

I’ll fight you with ease, I dared it once

I threw at it words and lot many puns

It will happen; the seer affirmed

It did happen; this morning my mobile confirmed

It’s the monster that I chose to dare

Now I stand naked in its lair

A price I paid to live a dream

Now I wake up in loud screams

But am not alone to have fallen prey

There are many who went astray

But still from them I had not learned

And blew away what all I earned

The duress on me will forever mount

As it wipes away my bank account

But why did I listen to all those men?

And seal my fate with the mighty pen?

'Buy your house' together they sang

'My house?' heck, it belongs to the bank

And all I can do is moan and grunt

As it comes for me on every month

It’ll have its blood; if I live or die

It lives through me; the devil EMI!

Two Face

I first met Daniel three years ago. He had walked into my clinic without an appointment. And when he was refused an audience, he barged into my room.

“Please…” he said; his voice a weird mix of horror and resolve. Something about the voice shook my core. I couldn't ignore the plea in Daniel’s voice. As the security guard closed the door behind, Daniel simply crashed on to the couch.

“You got to help me doc. You got to get rid of him” Daniel’s terror stricken voice pleaded.

“Calm down…what’s your name?”

“Daniel…shut up” he suddenly screamed as he stood up hysterically.

“Excuse me?” I implored

“Its him…Damien”

“I’m sorry…is it Daniel or Damien?”

“The voice…that’s Damien”

“What voice?” I could see where all this was heading to.

As if on cue, Daniel’s eyes rolled up, revealing the eerie white. And he collapsed. I lay him on the couch and sat by his feet. He woke up an hour later.

“How are you?” I asked him as he slowly sat up. Daniel nodded tiredly.

“You can talk now?” Daniel nodded again.

Its then he told me his story. Daniel was being haunted by a voice only he heard. And although I had heard such stories a million times before, something about Daniel made me want to believe him. But a psychiatrist’s success depends upon his ability to rationalize creepy occurrences. I had to find out the reason behind Daniel’s nightmare. The voice belonged to someone called Damien, and it began 4 years ago. Unlike the other similar cases I had dealt with, Daniel’s was the most unusual. Unlike the others, the 23 year old Daniel did not have a troubled childhood, he wasn't abused as a child nor did he have a history of a psychotic attack. He in fact was smarter than most of the patients I had met. He repeated the same story under hypnosis.

Damien was more than a voice for Daniel. It was a parasitic entity, living within him, living off him. It started as an itch. Something irritating the back of his head. He scratched, the irritation grew. He saw a dermatologist who saw nothing peculiar. Then the itching grew. Almost as if something was clawing him from inside. And then one night, as Daniel slept, he felt something breathe on his neck; heavy, moist. Daniel ignored it, perhaps the remnants of a nightmare. But it happened again the following night. He woke up with a start. And there it was again. This wasn't a nightmare he had been dreaming. This was a nightmare he was living. A week later, Daniel heard the voice. A cold whisper. Daniel never slept again.

Damien began to take control of everything Daniel did. Daniel couldn't eat, he couldn't drink, he couldn't meet friends, he couldn't live! Damien egged Daniel on to do strange things. He wanted Daniel to harm people. One morning Daniel woke up with blood on himself. He immediately checked his body. It wasn't him. At noon, he discovered the dismembered body of his pet dog Luke in the garage. Daniel realized that it was only a matter of time before his worst fears came true. Somehow he managed to drag himself to my clinic that day.  

Our sessions did little to improve his condition. But they did not go beyond the second month. Last week, Daniel killed himself by jumping in front of a train. His death changed everything. My patient was dead. It was my failure. And then, yesterday, a letter arrived. It was from Daniel. What I read next shocked me beyond imagination.

“Alan, by the time you read this, I would be dead. I am sorry Alan. It was the only way. Damien made me do it. He said that he would leave me forever if I did it. He said that he had found the perfect body. You cannot even begin to imagine the horror I have gone through.

Forgive me, if you can.

Daniel”

As I tried to make sense out of the letter, a searing pain surged through the back of my head. It was as if my head would explode. I thought I would pass out. And then I felt something warm on my neck. As I turned around, a cold whisper called out to me…

“Hello Alan…”!

Man's Best Friend!

Till 3 years ago, I used to be mortally petrified of dogs. And with good reason too. Sure the puppies looked cute and adorable and stuff. But then they grew up. And that’s when they scared the shit out of me. I have had my share of being chased by the canines for absolutely no reason at all. The prospect of a late night drive returning home from a movie or something would give me goose bumps. 

I guess this fear was instilled in me thanks to my brother’s friend’s German Shepherd who had the time of his life scaring the daylight out of me when I was 7 years old. More than once this devilish hound chased me around my brother’s friend’s house; once again, for absolutely no reason at all. Perhaps he thought that it was good sport. Perhaps he despised irritating 7 year old kids like myself. Come to think of it, it wasn’t really that difficult to understand. The dog with its ferocious fangs, was huge, almost like a wolf. And to him, I was perhaps, a tiny little rabbit.  

Anyway, the fear grew with me. And I was too proud to accept it. So when a good friend of mine brought a dog home, I stopped visiting his house altogether. Before that I used to frequent his home quite a lot. That afternoon I decided to give my friend a visit.

“I’ve got a surprise for you” he said with a smile.

Before I could ask him anything, a furry black figure came running towards me. It was a black lab. And before I knew it he had placed his paws on my shoulders. He was as tall as me. Perhaps even taller. And he was strong. I wanted to scream. I really did. In the words of Michael Jackson,

‘You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,
You're paralyzed’

“Get it off me” I finally managed to say with whimper.

“Relax, he is just a baby. He wants to play with you” he said.

His words fell on deaf ears. I was sure that the dog had smelt fresh meat. And then without warning, he got down on all fours and started smelling my crotch. What the hell was he doing?

“He must really like you” smiled my friend again.

I thought he had lost his mind. His cute baby was sniffing my thing like a tasty treat.

“He’s just getting to know you” defended my friend.

“That’s the weirdest thing I have ever heard” I said with relief as the dog stopped sniffing me and sat down near my feet.

I never visited my friend’s home again. And the following years made no difference to my fear. It all changed one day.

***

4 years ago, I got a call from my brother.

“Come home soon. Got a surprise for you.”

I reached home excitedly wondering what surprise lay in store for me. As I rang the door bell I heard a yelp.

“Oh dear God! Please let me be wrong” I prayed as I realized what the surprise probably was.

The door opened and I was greeted by my mother who had a very prominent frown on her face. Behind her, stood my father grinning from ear to ear. He pointed to something on the floor, looking at my inquisitive gaze. On the floor sat one of the cutest Labrador puppies I had ever seen in my life. He was so tiny. Its brown fur glistened as it looked up at me. Those eyes! I fell in love with him that very moment.

He was my brother’s gift to my father, who unlike me, was very fond of dogs.

The first few days were very trying, not only for us but for him too. He was hardly a month old. He would cry every now and then. Perhaps he was missing his mother. And it would break my heart as he would sit in a corner, looking at all of us one by one, perhaps wondering what fate awaited him. Although mom agreed that the dog was indeed cute, she however, refused to attend to him. And worse was his habit of defecating anywhere he pleased in the house.

“I am not going to look after him. Trust me on that.” She said with finality in her tone.

Apparently she was bitten by a dog when she was young. So that’s where my fear for dogs came from. Suddenly, bringing the pet home seemed like the worst idea. We were clearly not ready for a pet.

And then one day, something beautiful happened. I returned home that evening to see my mom with the dog on her lap. And I saw in her eyes, love only a mother could show. She told me what happened that afternoon.

“I was sitting on the floor watching TV. And all of a sudden, he came up to me, put his head on my lap and dozed off. And I could no longer stay mad at him” she said with a smile. 

We decided to name this four legged bundle of cuteness – BRUNO. And that’s him.

Bruno got over his initial discomfort quite quickly. And pretty soon he became our darling. Even our neighbours grew fond of him. Every day kids from our society would come to our home and play with Bruno. And he too had a blast. He loved all the attention. And he was naughty to the hilt. And he had a gala time chewing up all our slippers and shoes. Here he is with his favorite slipper. 

His favorite pastimes however, were eating and sleeping; his tiny stomach always hungry for more. Bruno grew up quickly. Today he is 3.5 years old. And he hasn’t changed one bit. He is as naughty as ever. And he has grown up into a strong and handsome boy. The stray bitches lust over him while he conveniently ignores them. Even the other strays don’t mess with him and stay out of his path as he walks with authority during his walks. Although the sight of a cow every now and then does scare him quite a bit. 

And at times I feel that he is more human than the actual ones. I know he dreams. So many times I have watched him yelp and make running motions in his sleep. I wonder what he sees. Perhaps he sees himself chasing a squirrel up a tree. Or perhaps flirting around with some female friend of his.    

For us, he is still the baby he was 3 years ago. And while he has gotten over chewing the slippers, his new mode of mischief is to sleep on the couch when none of us is watching. Now whenever he wants to sleep on it in our presence, all he needs to do is give us his long droopy faced expression. And that does it. All our strictness goes out of the window. The couch is unofficially his property now. If one of us tries to sit on the couch whilst he sleeps on it, he will push and nudge us till we get up and sit someplace else. 

He hates bathing in winters and will slide under the farthest corner of the bed, hoping that we won’t be able to reach him. His face is a look of meek surrender when he realizes that we, in fact can reach him. His fur hair is all over the place and on every one of us. Its on my shirt, its on my trousers, its on my office bag. And at times its on my hair too; something which makes people ask “did you and your dog wrestle or something?”

Scolding him is pointless as the very next moment he does this.

He shares a special bond with my mom and dad. He is immensely possessive about mom. Every time I hug her, Bruno jumps up and pushes me away with his paws. 

Dad spoils him rotten. He gives in to Bruno’s every demand and tantrum. And at times I fear that Bruno would end up getting a higher share in my dad’s will. Dad speaks to him as he would with a kid. And Bruno too listens to him attentively, almost as if he understands him. Dad is the one looking after his daily routines. He wakes up at crack of dawn to take Bruno for his walks. He also takes him out for a ride in the car every morning. That’s Bruno’s favorite activity. The way he looks out of the window with his tongue hanging out…sometimes makes me wonder if he too loses himself in thoughts the way we do.

There are many things I would like to write about Bruno. But perhaps none would convey my feelings for him. A dog is perhaps the closest thing to perfection that God made. Bruno is perhaps the most wonderful and the most honest being I have ever had the good fortune of coming across. Every day he teaches me how to live life. Every day he gives me a reason to smile. Every day he greets me with the same enthusiasm every time I enter my home. Every morning he sits outside my bedroom, patiently waiting for me to wake up and give him a biscuit. And each day he teaches me the value of trust, understanding and innocence. He knows that he can bolt away to freedom every time the leash is off. But he chooses to stay. He knows that he can snap by bones in two with those powerful jaws, and yet he lets me irritate him when he sleeps. He knows his barks can scare the toughest of men, and yet he lets me scold him. All the life’s problems seem trivial when I come home. Because I know that no matter what, my buddy will be anxiously awaiting my arrival. The one who doesn’t judge me, or despise me, or hurt me. The one who smiles with his tail. My friend, my buddy, my Bruno! 

The Unconquerable!

Ajit was afraid of the light. He was mortally terrified of it. He couldn’t place a finger on the ‘when’ or the ‘why’ he developed this fear. But he knew he would be destroyed the moment he stepped into the light. He preferred waiting in the dark, like a serpent. 

But now, as he lay on the moist soil waiting for a quick death, the light didn’t seem to bother him anymore. Perhaps it was the excruciating pain in his legs that made him overcome his fear. He had long abandoned the efforts to stand up on his feet. They were useless now. And he knew very well who was to be blamed for it.

***

“Die, you swine!” Pawan’s son had screamed in rage as he swung his weapon for the last time.

“Coward” bellowed Ajit as he crashed to the ground like a mighty tree. It was pain like he had never felt before. Perhaps, only the pain of being treated like a villain came close.

The impending death did little to quench his desire for vengeance. He couldn’t bear the humiliation any more. But there was very little he could do now.

“Look, how the mighty have fallen!” mocked his oppressor.

“You are enjoying this, aren’t you?” gasped Ajit.

“Every moment of it. Oh, you can’t even begin to imagine. Rot in hell, oh king of the world!” he laughed as he wiped the bloody sweat from his brow and flicked it on Ajit’s face. And he walked away leaving Ajit to die.

***

His words enraged Ajit further. He tried to get up again. It was in vain. The pain killed him, bit by bit. He felt foolish. He should have finished him when he had the chance. Searing pain shot through his body and he twitched violently. He screamed again. But no one could hear his lament.

How he wished Pawan’s son would have just killed him! He had left him worse than a corpse.

“Its only fair. Now all you can hope to do is repent” Shyam had said. Ajit laughed like a rabid dog at Shyam’s comment.

“Fairness. The word loses its essence coming from your wretched mouth. Do not forget, I could have crushed you like an ant long ago. You live because I chose to let you.” Ajit managed to put up a brave face. He was not going to give Shyam the pleasure of watching him die a broken man.

He wished he could just get enough strength in his legs to destroy Shyam – the forever smirking devil. He was the main conspirator after all. He coughed blood as his lungs gasped for air. His throat felt parched. But there was no one around to give him a few drops. 

He felt wronged. He cried at the injustice everyone had done to him. He had been a good man, a devoted son, a loyal friend, a powerful man, the greatest warrior. He had been his own master. He had made it this far despite being wronged by his own people. And yet he was subjected to this humiliation- by his family, his enemies, and now, by death itself.

“If only Vasu was here” he thought. Vasu – his only friend. He too had left him.

It was perhaps the impending death that made his entire life flash in front of his eyes. And his mind stopped at the moment which had caused this calamity today. Had he been wrong? He had insulted a woman. Perhaps the only moment he had erred. And if it wasn’t for his mistake, he would have been the one standing over the corpses of his enemies and laughing at them.

But if he really was wrong, why hadn’t anyone stopped him then? Why had everyone been silent? Perhaps he was right after all. A woman who lived with 5 men deserved to be humiliated. She deserved to be treated like a slave. She deserved to be disrobed. After all wasn’t she the one who had taunted him in the first place? Such audacity! Yes, the whore deserved to be punished.

As he closed his eyes he could hear himself laughing and mocking Draupadi. She was after all his servant. It was her duty to obey him, to satisfy him. She was his trophy. He had won her in all fairness. And he could treat her the way he wanted. He could see himself slapping his thigh and inviting her to sit on it. He could hear his brothers egging him on. He could hear Vasu, his dear Karna slap his back in encouragement. And he could hear Bheema bellow in fury as he vowed to smash those very thighs one day.

Bheema, the son of Pawan, had kept his promise. Goaded by Shyam, Bheema had broken the rules of battle as he smashed Ajit’s thighs with his mace. And he had finally managed to defeat Duryodhana, the unconquerable one – Ajit!

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