Boys to Men--Part 2

Boys do not have a fixed definition of fun. But it has to be full of action. And I mean raging fires, exploding buildings, crashing planes type of action. So my kid’s idea of fun isn’t sitting quietly and playing with his building blocks. It is to make a big tower with those blocks, and then aiming his toy car at them to knock them down to the remotest corner of the sofa (which I will later have to sweep out myself).

One risky idea of fun happens in school (which am sure most of you have done at least once. most of guys at least, because girls are civil). And it involves impaling the one sitting in front of you with a compass. It all starts when a kid stands up from his seat for some reason. And the kid behind him produces a compass out of nowhere and places the pointed end of the compass on the seat, for no reason. He then patiently waits for the kid in front to sit on the pointy end. The sadism takes a turn for the worse when other boys nearby don’t prevent this from happening and in fact await the needle to pierce the buttocks of the poor lad.

As dangerous as it sounds, I have never heard of an incident where this prank took a turn for the worse. Its almost like a rite of passage. I’d really like to know about the origins of this prank. I mean which sick mind would look at a compass and think, “hey you know what, just for fun...let’s pierce some buttocks today”?

For me, one of the most annoying things in school used to be the MD (mass drill) period. My school used to start at 7.15 in the morning, and once a week all the students would march towards the school ground to spend the next hour and half dancing/exercising to the drill masters whistle (or a drum depending on how adventurous the instructor felt).

Everyone hated it. Including the drill master I believe. Back then and even now, I am unable to grasp at the utility of those physical movements. No one in my life has once come up to me and said “You remember the mass drills we did in the morning?  It changed my life.”

You also needed to show just the right amount of appreciation for the drills. You showed too much enthusiasm (or too less of it), and the instructor would make you lead the drills. Which meant that you had to do the exercises and the other kids would follow you. Now most of the kids just followed the kid in front. I mean no one really remembers the order of the exercise (or the exercise). You made a mistake and ‘smack’...out of nowhere the drill instructor appeared behind you and slap your buttocks into oblivion. He actually would appear out of nowhere. He would be at a far corner getting all cheery with my young science teacher, and the moment you messed up a movement he would magically appear right behind you to slap your behind (which is already sore with all the compass piercings).

The trick was to remain inconspicuous; just show the right amount of enthusiasm so that the DI would spare you. Morning drills were especially unpleasant in winters. In my school, only the higher secondary boys could wear pants. The rest of us had to wear shorts. And I am all for rules. But 8-9-10^th standards are when many embarrassing changes happen to our body; body hair being just one of the problems. While the torso is well protected in the chilly morning wind, the lower part is however quite unlucky. And its no fun to feel the wind creep up your leg. Not to mention morning wood. Imagine standing in front of everyone, students and teachers, in your shorts that often does little to hide your unwanted boner. You will quite literally be standing out.

At that age (and I guess even now) kids tend to get embarrassed easily. The other kids on their part will ensure that you stay embarrassed. They will never let you move on. Because the screw ups you do in school stay with you for life. Years later, when people meet on school groups on FB and Whatsapp, you will still be known as ‘that kid who screwed up’ in the group.

But that's the fun of school isn’t it? The fun, the ink pens (and the promotion to ball pens), the geometry sets, the mass drills, the crushes, the embarrassments, the failures, the conquests, the fistfights after school, the arm wrestling coz she is watching, the chalk projectiles, the one hand distance, the head downs, the finger on your lips, the standing out of class as punishment, the pride in carrying the books to the staff room, the tiffin cricket, the flames, the group photos towards the year end, the proposals, the occasional slaps, the few moments of glory, and many moments of insult, the jealousies, the contempt, the love, the hatred, the friendship days, the rakhi days, everything keeps adding a small layer to the personality that is the now you. In fact, I’d like to change my above statement. Remember those mass drills in school that we used to hate? They did change my life a bit!