Friday, 10 April 2020

Boys to Men –Part 4: The Many Uncomfortable Truths


Anyone who has travelled on trains will know that clean toilets are a privilege. My hostel lavatory was no less than that of a train’s.

My side of the hostel had 3 toilets... for 25 people. That number would rise exponentially during peak hours. Because if the toilets in your lobby were occupied, you could promptly check your luck in the other lobbies. You can imagine the massacre once everyone was done. Apparently, many people don’t really understand or follow toilet hygiene. They are ruthless, and often leave behind a trail of mindless destruction (quite literally). My hostel had many such monsters. And you could never tell by just looking at them. Such unassuming people, with deeds of a psychopath.

The only way you could have access to a somewhat cleaner toilet was if you woke up at the crack of dawn, before anyone else. So if you were used to going to the toilet at a specific time (you know for better performance), or needed that sip of tea to deliver the goods, you could very well forget all that. In a hostel, its mind over (faecal) matter.

Winters presented a new problem. Now the hostel authorities have a knack for assuming that guys in the hostel can survive hypothermia. Which probably is why our hostel didn’t have a water heating facility. Which made bathing a challenge. So we made the hostel authorities privy to our concern. Who like all responsible and proactive authorities calmly snubbed our request; their logic being that since we were young we should be treating the hardships as a lesson in life. So we avoided bathing altogether. Coz you know...rebels!

We did have a water cooler in our hostel though. It was the most basic of facilities and yet somehow we felt rich because of it. The fact that it was the only cooler for approx 200 guys didn’t reduce the richness in any way. Until one day the supply stopped. On enquiry we realised that during the last clean up, the worker had found a dead lizard in the tank. I don’t know what was more disgusting; that we didn’t have access to cleaner water, or that we had been consuming an exotic lizard cocktail. We realised something funny about the human body that day. As long as the mind isn’t aware of the contents of the food, the tummy would happily gobble and digest anything. But now that I was aware I needed to get out of this hostel which was plotting ways to kill its inmates through hypothermia and lizard laced water.

It was just the first month of my hostel life. And I was determined to get out of that place. Every other day, I would concoct horror stories to my dad, in the hopes that it would melt his heart and maybe put me in a private hostel which would have had much better facilities (read luxuries). So in high hopes I called my dad from a local pco. I narrated the lizard episode and also fake jaundiced a guy.

“Hmm...” he said. 

Any moment now, he would ask me to pack my bags and move to a private hostel. But his Hmm should have been my first clue. Any response that starts with a hmm...is never going to be in your favour.

“Don’t mess with your health. Buy those big cans of mineral water. So how are the classes going?” was all he said.

And you know at times you can hear background music in real life too. As I hung up, I realised a feeling of being abandoned. Being the rebel that I was, I meekly accepted the situation. 

Thankfully I had friends who were much better prepared to deal with the situation than I was.

To be contd...

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